It's Picking Season

Here are my week one picks. I hope you like them. Or disagree with them. So this way I can think your a fag. Football.

Saints (+6) over PACKERS

So it was a magical run for the Pack. They became champions last fall while Brett Favre became the ultimate joke. Not a bad 2010.

Now they have to start their repeat, against the always dangerous Saints team. The Saints will be hyped, and this will probably be a shootout. I think 6 points is too much for a spread.

Packers 27 Saints 24

TAMPA BAY (-1) over Detroit

I'm just not buying the Lions hype. They'll be improved, but by how much? A game? Two? I still see Legarrette Blount running all over them and punching them all in the face.

Buccs 24 Lions 17

Pittsburgh (+2) over BALTIMORE

We've all seen this game before. This one might be higher scoring than usual. Either way, Pittsburgh is still a step ahead.

Steelers 21 Ravens 17

ST. LOUIS (+5) over Philadelphia

The Rams won't win, but Bradford will show he's legit and keep it close.

Eagles 31 Rams 28


CLEVELAND over Cincy

Always go against a ginger quarterback.

Browns 1000 Bengals -3


Buffalo (NL) over KANSAS CITY

Tyler Palko wasn't that bad for the Pitt Panthers. I kind of like Buffalo this season, but I don't want to openly admit it because I'm afraid of what my peers will think. Buffalo is that fat chick with big tits that you really want to bang, but don't want to tell anyone.

Fat Chicks 24 Chiefs 20

Titans (NL) over JAGS

If the Bills are fat chicks, Luke McCown is a tranny. He looks like he might look good, but you remember that he has a dick. He's a giant turd. Luke McCown is a giant turd. CJ will look mid-season form.

Titans 27 Jags 3


Colts (+9) over TEXANS

I just feel like the Texans will find a way to choke, even without Peyton Manning in the lineup for the Colts.

Colts 14 Texans 13


Atlanta (-3) over CHICAGO

It's going to be a tough, physical, grind em out game. Atlanta's the better team. They can do more with the passing game.

Falcons 24 Bears 20

Seattle (+2) over SAN FRAN

Seattle's the better team. Tavares Jackson has to find a way to not lose this one.

CARDINALS (-4) over Panthers

This one is a wild card, but I seriously don't think Cam Newton is ready to play yet. He's that 13 year old with a big rack of boobies. The Panthers are going with him now, but they'll be on To Catch a Predator by week 8.

Cardinals 31 Panthers 14

REDSKINS (+4) over Giants

I have a sneaky suspicion that the Redskins will be good this year. Hightower looks good in that zone scheme. Grossman looks like Plummer. More importantly, the Giants are decimated with injuries.

Redskins 28 Giants 21

Vikings (+8.5) over CHARGERS

They might not win, but McNabb will be good enough at play-action that Adrian Peterson's box won't be stacked all game. Chargers win a close one.

Chargers 21 Vikings 20

JETS (-4) over Cowboys

Jets aren't losing on 9/11 at home.

Jets 17 Cowboys 10

Patriots (-27) over TURDBAG CHAD HENNE

BRONCOS (-3) over AL DAVIS DECAYED CORPSE